GOAL The goal of this Life Night is to examine why sexual acts that are not free, total, faithful, and fruitful, like sex before marriage and
The goal of this Life Night is to examine why sexual acts that are not free, total, faithful, and fruitful, like sex before marriage and pornography, are distortions of love.
• Christ’s love for you and the entire Church is free, total, faithful, and fruitful. The vows in the Sacrament of Matrimony reflect this love.
• If a sexual act is missing one of the above promises it is considered a distortion of love.
• Regardless of how we’ve fallen in these areas, Jesus has a plan for each one of us to love fully and to be loved fully in return.
SEX IS FREE, TOTAL, FAITHFUL, AND FRUITFUL
Many of us are aware that the Church teaches we can’t have sex before marriage. This is because every sexual act, in its design by God, is also called to be free, total, faithful, and fruitful. If an unmarried couple has sex, it lacks a requirement of self-giving love and becomes distorted.
Let’s take a closer look at what is lacking when a couple has sex before marriage.
- − Is it free? (Yes, if both people agree to it without any outside pressure.)
- − Is it total? (No, you’re withholding the promise to stay faithful.
- − Is it faithful? (No, because the commitment is not “until death do us part.”
- − Is it open to life? (That depends on if contraception is used. Probably not.)
Sex before marriage sends a confusing and painful message: “I like you enough to have sex with you. But I don’t want to give all of me to you and I don’t want to make any commitment to you. I just want to use you and I am ok with being used by you in the process.”
We also hear that the Church teaches that pornography and masturbation is wrong. Science informs us that pornography has an addictive nature. Individuals need an ever-increasing dosage to get the same level of arousal. This leads to individuals looking at more pornography and pornographic behavior that is increasingly more distorted. This information can be backed up by studies at fightthenewdrug.com. We encourage you to check it out.
Let’s examine why the Church also understands it to be harmful.
- − Is it free? (Yes or no. It could be an addiction. It could be a free choice.)
- − Is it total? (No. Masturbation is all about self-pleasure, never about self-gift.)
- − Is it faithful? (No. No commitment is made. There is no one to be committed to.)
- − Is it open to life? (No.)
We are not bringing these things up to shame you. We are bringing it up because we want what is best for you, the fullness of love, lacking nothing. We want you to have happy and healthy dating relationships and eventually happy and healthy marriages, families, and vocations. Our hope is that this information will help you in times of temptation when you nd yourself asking, “Is it really a sin to do this? Why?” This is the “why.”
If you feel guilty for falling for distorted versions of sexuality, know that there is hope. Regardless of how we’ve fallen in these areas, Jesus has a plan for each one of us to love fully and to be loved fully in return. Coming to Christ in the Sacrament of Reconciliation can forgive us of our past mistakes and guide us towards healing in His perfect love. (John 8: 1-11, Isaiah 53:5)
(Sunday) 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm